Please read placement number 6 before reading placement 6 *trigger warning*. this post is a part two, and has a part one.

As I stated in part one, the foster mother was fake, manipulative and somewhat sadistic in her mannerisms. She used foster children as cash cows to help her own family, it was never about the act of kindness. We were openly told, that we are foster children and do not get the same things as their own children. We deserve less, and should be grateful, otherwise there was hostility and bad treatment. Being sent to bed early so they can have family time, was an every night occurrence. It was a way to show you, you were an outsider and not part of their family. As a foster child, I just adapted to each families character and lifestyle.

Eight weeks after my 13th birthday, I was told we were going on holiday. It was an all paid inclusive holiday for the whole family and foster children, paid by social care. Again I was excited, because by adapting, I enjoyed watching her treatment of her own children. I was good the whole time I was there, which was just the first night, playing with the youngest children. Whom I liked best because they were not bullies as much as the older two.

On the second day of the holiday, the foster mother told me I have to go back. When I asked her why? She said, “because a watch went missing from the swimming pool changing rooms”. We hadn’t done any activities yet, so I didn’t even know where the pool was. It was early morning on the first day, and all we had done was check in the evening before. Confused and upset, I started to shout loudly and protest I done nothing wrong.

She started to look around at who was watching, and then bent down in my ear and said to me. I know it wasn’t you, but the other child who was older than me, cant go home alone. So can I take care of her, and I was really upset, but agreed. She told me I would be staying with temporary foster careers until they get back from holiday. Which meant that this foster mother got to spend an all inclusive paid for holiday, with her children, and husband. Also her sister and her sisters child for a week. The only two foster children there sent home. At the time all I saw was that the other foster child was to blame, and was angry with her.

On the way home, the older teen took me to some house, which I thought was the foster family. I saw her sexually assaulted by a male, and taken to another room. After some time she was brought back, and then he said she was going. So I stayed and expected that the temporary foster parents would look after me until the other ones came back. I was confused and scared, by things I saw, but had no control. I was told by the foster mum it was temporary foster parents so didn’t question, who the strangers were. When asked if I would like something to drink by an old lady with grey hair. I took the drink she offered to me without hesitation because she is supposed to feed me.

I was drugged by that drink I accepted without a thought of danger. I was then sexually assaulted while unconscious, and while awake, and was almost trafficked out of Bristol by two males. I remember assaults by two males, not sure if there were more when I was unconscious. One in a dark room I couldn’t see his face, who forced me to preform sex acts. He was violent and also struck me in the face multiple times. The other I woke up to face down on a bed, assaulting me before I went back unconscious. I was kept unconscious most of the time.

Apart from the man and lady I saw initially when taken there. I did not see one facial feature after that, it was like they were hiding their faces from me. In hindsight I think I was kept awake for the person in the dark, for the act they wanted. The darkness I think was used as a way to keep identities secret. But I saw that one was dark haired and one was lighter haired and they were white males. The lady and man I did see initially were also white. I had no idea at all I was being trafficked, and that the house was a suspected trafficking house. I remember feeling lost when I first went inside because the house was large with many floors. Even with the abuse, I didn’t process it as trafficking until I was in my late 30s.

At some point the people I was trafficked to, decided to move me, and I was drugged. I escaped by jumping out of the moving car, and then running and hiding under a parked car. Whatever drug they were giving me, wore off and I pretended to still be unconscious. I watched them in the front seat for a while, while they spoke. Until my instinct told me to try the door and jump if its open. I heard them searching for me, and talking to each other before they gave up. I heard ” we are fucked if we don’t find her”, and “lets go”. Luckily it was dark, so they couldn’t see me. I was terrified, and hid for at least an hour in the dirt under the car.

When I eventually felt safe enough to come out, i did not know where I was, and just started walking. When I saw streets with lights on them, I walked towards it, and started seeing people and cars. I looked at my reflection, and my face i did not recognize, it felt hot, and I started crying. A woman with black hair saw me and took me home. I stayed with her until a missing person alert was put out, and she took me back. She told me to not identify her, as the alert had threatened to charge people with kidnap, and charges. I never said a word to social services when I went back. I just smiled, and felt good that someone had cared about me.

In hindsight, I strongly believe the foster mother and maybe the father set me up to be trafficked. The sister who was on the holiday was involved, as she in records corroborating her sisters false story. Social services files claim I ran away. I did not run away. I was set up and taken to a house where I was then drugged and assaulted. My foster mother told me that I was being taken to temporary foster parents. She did not mention that social services would meet and collect us both. She also did not follow social cares guidance, in not sending us back alone on a train. Records showed me she had to have an ulterior motive for the picture she painted. Which resulted in me being taken to a trafficking house and left there, to be sexually abused and drugged.

Social care, I feel doctored my files to look like I was seen, while I was missing. I believe for their own institutional protection, image and professional work positions. Aside from my own memory, there were inconsistent records around this period, and all other files are consistent. There were daily records, and then a gap of around 3 weeks appears with only one entry. There are also three different records related to the day I came home on the train from the holiday. Multiple social workers claim to have picked me up from the train station, the day I was trafficked. Of which other records claim those social workers were elsewhere at the time on records. Also three sets of people cant pick up one child, and take them different places.

Also, all entries of suspected sexual abuse was not in my records. How does that happen, and how do social care teams get away with that? Multiple records were found in other peoples files that were directly about me. I feel was intentional and evidence of an active cover up. The Investigation was in 2020, which to me points to it being a a current issue. As the character of social care are still to deflect and deny, based on evidence they actively covered up.

In reality, a statutory investigation finds you guilty of failing in duty, and that sexual abuse was highly probable. Also, directly spoken about by multiple staff for around 5 years in records. Your response is to offer 1000 for injury, adding insult. Then to deny anything happened at all, and fight against me, because I refused your insulting offer. This is after ignoring disclosures of abuse, and not acting when directly told multiple times, at different points in childhood. In my opinion it was not just a failure. It was neglect and emotional abuse to not act for years. It was a conscious act of mitigation, by the very people paid to advocate children’s rights. The systematic character assassination that always follows sexual abuse in foster care, is also a controlled response. That can be later used by social care legal teams to justify and mitigate their practices, towards children.

For example, my records talk about me blowing up one day, and being all sorts of out of control, aggressive. That poor other children had to watch me blow up, and throw things, and cry. That day I cried and blew up because I was sexually assaulted, and behind my back I was called promiscuous. So given no support and help at age 12, I had a mental health breakdown. Because not long prior I was assaulted by someone else. And before that assaulted by someone else. I kept getting assaulted from age 8 years, and could do nothing about who I was sent to live with. I was expected to eat with an appetite, at the same table as one of my rapist. At the time the care was disgusting, and staff were self-absorbed, and told lies to protect their own purposes. Only reading my records later exposed more lies, once I had processed my own feelings, and experiences, without hindrances.

In my opinion the UK National Child Abuse Investigation and study, only changed attitudes within the authorities it targeted. The ones not targeted were allowed to just watch. Local authorities not targeted can use the opportunity only to mitigate any backlash they would get in the aftermath. It will always be about mitigating any financial loss to compensation before anything else. The children who grow up affected are expected to bare the burden, both financially and otherwise. In the UK the welfare system does not adhere to any local authority abuse failures that impact lives. Its a ‘if you are lucky enough to find a route to help’, type of thing. The help is often mottled with fierce opposition, and does not really cater to the unusual circumstance. One in which you are harmed by a local authority care, and there is no recourse. There is no clear established nation wide route for these groups to get umbrellaed support, considering its systemic institutional nature. Which thanks to the UK national study is now widely known about, though more effective in targeted areas.

Did you know that another victim in the same facility or family is evidence, regardless if you know each other? In fact victims who do not know each other, but are abused in the same placement is solid court evidence? Hopefully in the future we can build a data base of institutional placements where people experienced abuse. So it can be used to help victims corroborate abuse, which is often done in private.