Foster family number 3

In 1991, I was placed with a black family who were personal friends with placement number 2. The new family lived in the same area, a few streets away from foster family number 2. Within four weeks the foster placement demanded they move me. Because she (the foster mother) is personal friends with placement number 2, and doesn’t want me in her house. Before she demanded they move me from her house. She bullied me, and called me names, with sexual innuendo’s about my character, and the lodger who molested me. I spent days crying on the floor in this placement, and I was completely shut down, and ignored.

I was 11 years old, and I was glad to leave this placement. They were a toxic family, who did not even so much as question whether I was molested. They just further abused me, and enjoyed mistreating me, as they felt I deserved it for the lodger incident. I did not want to go to a foster home after the emotional abuse and neglect, and blame. I became afraid of foster families, my existence was confusing and emotionally draining. I was shut down, afraid, confused and traumatized into submission and silence. I was being sexually abused by different people, while simultaneously being blamed and emotionally abused by foster parents.

Family number 3 received financial reward for their burden of boarding at their property. I was just a cash cow for a family who openly mistreated me, and felt right in doing so. Disclosing in placement 2 was detrimental to my well-being, safety and subsequent care.

Foster placement number 4

After placement number 3, I was placed in a local authority children’s home. The home was a mixed home for boys and girls, whom were mainly teenagers. Except one other boy and I who was younger than me, by two to three years. When I arrived I had to share a room with another girl, who was older than me by three years. Through sharing a room I was exposed to sexual relations between residents, pregnancy’s that were terminated, and sexual assault.

The father of the baby was a sexual deviant type teenager in my opinion. Unlike normal teens, he was sexually assaulting girls he had access too. Most of the girls he had access to were girls within the foster care system. He targeted me before school one morning, after staff woke me up to get ready for school. He stalked me to the bathroom unbeknownst to me, and busted in when I was undressed. He taunted me and bullied me before and after assaulting me.

I also saw the same teen force himself into another girls room, she fought hard to keep him out. I was so scared it would be me again, I closed my bedroom door, and held it shut. I sat their crying not knowing what to do to help her. Last I saw, she was fighting to try and hold her door closed enough so he couldn’t get in. I watched her complain to staff he was forcing himself on her. She used the word force, yet the staff told her not to lead him on, she absolutely was not. He was a strong teenage bully, and also sexually deviant in my opinion.

Staff were told about his assault on me also, but did not take any action again. Directly because there was an assumption by staff, that I understood what consent meant. I was under the legal age of consent, and did not understand the concept of consent in any way. I just thought sexual abuse was normal, because no one did anything about it. I had no clear understanding of the difference between consensual abuse, and force. In my little life experience, they both meant the same thing by definition to me. Despite not understanding the concept, I understood that I was harmed, and I wanted to escape. I didn’t feel safe at the children’s home, after being assaulted by an older peer.

When another girl moved into the children’s home, at a later date. I went out with her to escape the environment, and abusers taunts. One day while I was out with her, I stayed with her at her boyfriends shared house. It was late and I fell asleep, while waiting for her to come back from his bedroom. I woke up to some guy who sexually assaulted me. I was too scared to tell any adult at age 12 after such a toxic life, and lack of support. I told the girl who was 15 years old, but no one else. She wanted to report it as a crime, but from my prior experience I felt I would be blamed. Especially as this time, I was out without permission all night with her. This sexual assault went unnoticed, and I do not know if the girl told anyone else. If she did no one said nothing to me at the time, or within the 2020 statutory report.

After the second assault while living in this placement by two people within and outside the home. I ended up having an emotional breakdown, from the toxic environment and harm, and was sent to another children’s home. But this children’s home, was not an ordinary children’s home. It was a home for mostly criminal children, some of which were on remand for crimes. I had committed no crime. My behavioral outbursts related to trauma, were used as a reason. I was still 12 years old, and I was placed with teenage criminals, in another teenage environment. The differences this time were, the teenagers took drugs, did vehicle and petty crimes, and were arrested a lot.

Foster placement number 5

Placement number 5 was a notorious children home in 2a Newton Road, Cadbury Heath. Which had a bad reputation and was known in the local news. Living in placement number 5 was hard, as I was surrounded by criminal street type children. I had no street knowledge at all, and did not understand crime or the concept of the criminal system. I was in survival mode. Abuse, neglect and a persistent lack of emotional support made it impossible at this stage to thrive.

This children’s placement was on a huge complex with a male and female wing. Each environment I was moved to, I was expected to fit in with the children already placed there. I feel like this placement was punishment, as my social worker acknowledges in records I was finding it hard. Why would they keep me there to be physically assaulted?

The day comprised of children going out committing crime, and smoking and take drugs. I saw teens taking cocaine, along with cannabis regularly. The teens gave me cannabis, despite me being 11 years old. I assume they did not give me cocaine because they were addicts, and needed their fix. I saw robberies, and was arrested for the first time in this placement. After I was taken in a stolen a car one day, by two older girls from the home. I did not get charged at the time, though I was arrested and kept in a cell for a while.

I wasn’t sexually assaulted within placement number 5. There was neglect, bullying, neglect, physical, and emotional abuse within this placement. I was being exposed to things and criminals minds I should not have been exposed to. I was not a criminal, and did not wake up thinking about committing crime. I was bullied and stripped naked for not having the same criminal violent mindset. I just couldn’t watch a robbery and not cry and have a meltdown. I was sent out with criminal teenagers on remand, to the wolves. Placing me here was a failure. I should have been placed within a specialist mental health trauma place for children. Where I would have had opportunity to heal and thrive in childhood. Instead to tackle my trauma, the decision was made to place me within an environments that made me a target.

I was also at this point illegally taken out of school, while being given no specialist therapy for obvious trauma. Staff did not have much control, and the children’s home was a dumping ground, in my opinion. Where children were not meant to flourish or thrive, but just exist and make it to adulthood. If they made it to adulthood, they were discharged from care, and no longer social cares problem.

Abolition of Newton Rd

The home at newton rd. was abolished like so many notorious ones do in around 2018, with new buildings being established in 2019. Part of me feels like destroying the children’s homes, also destroyed evidence forever. It really is hard to process it any other way, when justice and evidence walk hand in hand. Often abuse becomes historic before it comes to light, and children just cant be pro-active in their own protection. I think in terms of children’s homes and mitigating destroying evidence. I suggest take images of the homes, both outside and inside, and label it correctly. Its a way to actively protect and help children who are unfortunate to be abused whilst in state care.

What do you think would pro actively help mitigate destroying possible evidence, when destroying children’s homes?

Do you think taking images of the outside and inside of children’s homes, before destroying them should be made mandatory? Taking images would mean readily available evidence for legal teams and investigators. What issues do you think would arise from making this a mandatory action?