What a title, and what a war recovered memories saga had on society, the courts and world. When I first learned about recovered memories, it was the only thing that explained what I had gone through. For me, every little bit of it was real. of course opposing sides, claim that recovered memories were flawed and not reliable. Also that recovered memories could be inaccurate, which meant that memories alone could not be relied upon in courts.

There has been extensive literature on recovered memories. A long debate existed about their validity and whether they can be accepted within a legal framework. One of my favorite scientists is Jennifer Freyd, who gave me will and motivation to finish my degree. Her work and theories on Institutional betrayal were helpful (Smith & Freyd 2014). They contributed to my own healing. They also assisted in my thinking and management of living with CSA. The concept of institutional betrayal was the only thing that explained the dynamic of experiencing CSA, while in protective custody. Without Freyds work. I would have less understanding of my circumstance, in a way where it makes sense to my lived experience. I highly recommend learning about Jennifer Freyd, and her work and journey.

All abuse is bad, but when an institution is involved it makes the experience have an added element of betrayal. As institutions are supposed to have the welfare of the people it serves at heart. So when an institution hides, minimizes, or otherwise doesn’t act. It can serve as message that they can’t be trusted to do the right thing, and take accountability. By not taking accountability survivors are left at the will of getting help anyway they can. Which can often lead to further exploitation by other bodies, who know survivors need help and want justice.

The institution that was responsible for my care, had 10 + people talking about CSA in my childhood. But not one of them reported it to the police once. The betrayal I felt was immense, and did last for a while. I still feel betrayal, but my initial shock and anger has subsided. Now I just want to expose the people, and do when i get the opportunity to do so. Why should they live a life, unquestioned like nothing happened. I disclosed to my social worker, who told the manager. The manger didn’t act, and didn’t follow guidelines. The manager who works for social services in Bristol today, is a liar. She covers up child sexual abuse of looked after children. She covered up my sexual abuse. But had the power to help dictate my statutory complaint in 2019/2020. Of course she found no wrongdoing in herself. She ensured that she didn’t follow routes that would expose her.

Smith, C. P., & Freyd, J. J. (2014). Institutional betrayal. American Psychologist, 69(6), 575–587. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037564