Living with a fragmented memory will impact each of us in our own way. We all live unique lives and experiences. These make our memories and fragmented memories unique to us as individuals.

In my lived experience, my fragmented memory had various impacts. These included long-term and short-term loss of memories of events. Sometimes even future events were forgotten. For a long time, I had no childhood memories. Then, once they started to come back in my late 20s, they were nothing but fragmented images. The images took a long time to put together piece by piece, into a narrative of significant traumatic childhood events. At this point, I knew something terrible had happened. At that time I was incapable of coherently narrating my experience to anyone else. I did try, though.

Once I managed to put the pieces together, I felt every emotion humanly possible. I ended up needing to avoid the images. These images were retrieved from my fragmented repressed memories of trauma. My childhood was stolen. I spent my 20s and early 30s recovering horrific and traumatic memories. During my late 30s and early 40s, I tried to get justice and hold those responsible accountable. I also had therapy for CPTSD. Historic events of trauma didn’t leave much life for my own persons, and what I wanted in life. I enjoy the little things in life. These include a fish rummaging around for grub. Also, flowers open up and release fragrances around the garden.

Repressed memories of trauma can come out at anytime, and i doubt i have recovered all of them. I recovered just enough to know where I came from. I understand what helped mold me into the person I am today. I am a person in recovery from trauma. I am still working on where I fit into my own characteristics. I am also figuring out where I fit into wider society.

Have you recovered any repressed memories, what were some of your functional impacts? Did you try and seek justice for any recovered memories? What does it mean to you?